i am

yo estoy
aku
kula
ana
ich bin
kee
tiyang

in peace

te quiero

and i love you still

just the way you are

hoping that you'll someday
see
the beauty
i saw
in you

and i love you still

and wish you well

for now
and always

i love you still

no hard feeling

she took one look at me
then shifted her gaze
and started ringing in my purchase

i was not worth a 'hello'
she spared for everyone else

i paid her the 20 Euro
she didn't say thank you
not to mention
the "have a nice day' routine

she spared that for the others
even that one who paid 2 Euro 45 Cents
behind me
as if my 20 Euro is worth a lot less
just because she thought
i'm just another
stupid, dirty, cheap, poor
immigrant

welcome to ALDI Sued
by the side street of Leipziger Strasse
Frankfurt am Main
Germany
where at night
the pavement smells like pee
literally

Welcome to the new daily reality.

sadness

TV
radio
internet
news

brought so much
fear
terror
fires
rockets
water
quakes

sadness

the sadness of
an elderly Japanese man
standing in the middle of rubbles
millions of emotions knotted inside his gut
as he bowed his head
tears in his eyes
sobs escaped his lips
as the fear for the worst overcame him
as his world shook
and shook
and shook
and shook
for the zillionth times

utter sadness
to see
the smiling, stoic faces I still somehow have in my head
bowed down
with fear
worries
traumas
being unsure of the future
to see the tears

sadness

and of all the things I've seen
I simply couldn't shake
the image
of
the old man
sobbing

sadness

here is the candle

here is the candle
you go light the fire

here is the candle
take out the match and strike the spark

here is the candle
for dawn is not yet there
and your path is yet in the dark

here is the candle
find your spark

for you
and you alone

can light
your own candle
and find
your own way

perspectives

tell me again

what
did
you
say

did i hear you correctly

did
you
just
say
what
i
thought
you
said

did you seriously just ask me
not to love her less
when the request should have been
for me
not to hate you

in what twisted version of reality
did you think we coexist

you
and all
your self righteousness

me
and all the realization
that i owed you nothing

through all my life
all that mattered
had been
paying my debts to you

but i owed you nothing
nothing
at
all

sana'a - darmstadt, march 2011

unanswered

the answer
provoked
more
questions

maybe the first
shouldn't have been
asked
at
all

there comes a time
when wondering
whether a life
of guessing the answers
is indeed
better
than a life
of questioning

or whether

one is as bad
as
the other

then
your life
becomes
the biggest
question
of all
time

sana'a - darmstadt, march 2011

the longest kiss

that first kiss
still lingers with me

that magic number
between three and seven and a half
that defines
you
and me

from countless hours
to days
to weeks
to months
and probably for years to come

those stolen kisses
will always be there
your first
and mine

and though you said
'thank goodness i'll only know you for a short time
or i'd be in love with you'
we both found out
that falling in love
took no time at all

but the kiss
the first magical one
took forever

Salatiga, February 26, 2011.

rasa hangat di dada

namamu
menyelinap halus dari sepasang bibirku
seperti kenangan tentangmu
yang hadir begitu saja

senyummu
takkan pernah lekang dimakan waktu
walau bertahun sudah tak pernah kulihat itu
hadir di depan mataku

bagiku
begitu banyak kenangan tersisa
pertanyaan
perandaian
sejumput penyesalan
yang tak jua melapuk memudar
tentangmu

tapi untukmu
masih selalu ada rasa hangat itu
ketika aku sekedar mengingatmu
atau dengan takzim menyebut namamu

teman kecilku

Salatiga, 26 Februari 2011.

Memory is a strange animal...

Memory is a strange animal
it wraps itself around you
protects you from harsh reality
keeps you somewhere safe
and warm

Memory is a strange animal
it brings back pain
keeps hatred alive and kicking
and let you hold grudge

Memory is a strange animal
running wild inside you head
turning in circles inside your heart
and left you completely lost

Memory is a strange animal
it burns you inside
engulfs you in crazy fires
longing
anger

it freezes you down
with desperation
loneliness
alienation

Memory is a strange animal
it gives you yesterday
it might give you tomorrow....
but in truth
it takes away your today

Salatiga, February 2011