it's a funny feeling..

it's a funny feeling,
to extract experience into fiction.

to pretend, as if you and me were mere fictional characters,
in the story feeding in the net through my keyboard.

it's a funny feeling,
to have the illusion,
of having my heart tied in several places,
choking blood and oxygen out of it,
the way i felt..
when i was with you...
simply by writing about it.

and gosh,
it was so so so long time ago.

i guess the shroud of negativity never really left me.

and boy,
how am i glad to have left...

i am not saying i have never looked back, but not in regret...
no, not at all...
not in regret.

sometimes i wondered,
what i could have done differently...
would it make much sense at all...
would it have been better if i had never met you at all
and spare both of us from the works and the damage...

but then again,
it was sweet while the icing lasted,
considering i have never liked icings anyway...

and then...
life was too good to be missed out.

leaping into the land of the unknown...

life has its twists and turns
and time and time again
no matter how many times i turn back and reflect
i am still always amazed...

how on earth did i get here?
how on earth my world turns out to be the way it is..
how on earth did i end up with all these things on my plate...

sometimes it is exhilaratingly too good to be true
sometimes it feels as if life has been rushing on top of me
sometimes it feels that life cannot be much more complicated...

with all the twists and turns,
i am still gratefully amazed,
that somehow,
i am here,
now.

that year by year,
with all the confusion, fear and depression,
comes always new beginnings,
new opportunities,
new challenges.

new reasons to be happy,
new reasons to be scared.

but time and time again,
leave me wondering,
how on earth do i deserve to experience all this?

and so,
as a thanksgiving to such a wonderful life,
let's live life to the fullest,
and making the best of what we've got.

b'coz, o boy....how lucky we are....

Happy New Year 2008