in love

as I was sitting all by myself,

and think,

and reflect,

and looking at who is there,

and who is not there.

then come a slow, and yet sudden,

realization....

that somehow...I'm in love.

I'm in love with life,

and what it has to offer.

I'm in love with the challenge,

difficulties, emotions,

fatigue...

and also its happiness,

and joy, and hopes...

and I'm in love with you.

with a sudden, calm, cool awareness

seeping into my brain.

I sat there and confessed.

oh yes, I think I'm in love with you,

still.

a funny feeling it is

to sit there all by myself

and feel the feeling of being in love,
calm,
and smooth.

such a strange realization,

that such a calm feeling can be associated with love.
red, hot, burning passionate love.

or maybe, this love is not that kind of love.

well, who cares...

and there I was, sitting there.

and not feeling the fire burning from within,

engufling me in such a longing,

and jealousy,

and disturbing fires of passion.

and feel safe, and secure...

and warm and confident...

that no matter what happens in the future,

that day,

I was calm and peaceful within myself,

knowing that....

hm....I love you...

the cool, strange, kind, funny, stupid, cute, silly, sporty, fussy, Bunny Guy....

this is for you.

waiting...and waiting...

waiting...and being impatient

to meet loved ones...

and to be freed from boredom and routine

oh...waiting...and waiting

for the day that the heart can leap in joy

waiting and waiting...

and waiting...

trashy soap operas

soap soap operas....

indulging people in endless imagination

i have to congratulate the scriptwriters

oh, how i envy them all

being able to earn money to stuff tired brains with endless pictures flickering on the TV

brains like mine...

and yet...

does suffering really comes in such an abundance

falling on top of each other like thundering lightbolts

over the lives of such wrecked people

or simply,

good people are meant to suffer

and that there is no such thing as happiness on earth?

that peace and being good

and being rich

and being loved

and lucky

simply do not come along being

noble, honest people

or simply by being real people?

does life really look that bleak?

oh, my...

well, at least i hope life is not as bad

and GOD, wherever He or She is, is not as cruel as scriptwriters

playing on the lives of us,

the puppets on Earth.

let us love,

and live...

and be happy.

since our life,

is not [yet]

another trashy soap opera.

rain drops

each falling raindrop

calling out your name
ringing out the song of an adventurer's heart

travelling far and wide

looking for clues on where to stop

and yet

the answer is yet to come

questions asked

and were left unanswered

on whether life will treat us kind

and hold endless pretty promises

or whether time

will tear us apart

and heal the wounds, anyway...

and yet,

this moment i know

that life is there to appreciate

to treasure

to explore

and that no matter what

i'll be thankful

that my life is so blessed

by you

wherever you are

the moment of truth

the moment of truth

is the moment when you found the answers deep in your heart...

or at least,

the moment when you THOUGHT you have found the answers deep in your heart.

the moment of truth,

on whether a step in life became a point of regret,

or simply,

as you care to acknowledge it,

an experience.

and my moment of truth,

is yet to come.

and as much as i want to believe

that everything happens for a reason

and that there should be no regret

for the choices and steps taken
...

and yet,

after friendship seemed to fail us...

after all is said and done...

maybe it WAS a mistake,

wasn't it?

maybe you have been right all along,

when you regretted that we had met...

oh geez...

still i try to have no regret,

and take you as a part of my learning.

knowing you,

and others...

and definitely,

knowing ME,

much...much...much...better.