i want to be blue...

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness...
but the color of serenity.

i want to be blue,
not like five-day-old bruises,
but like the petals of little wild flowers on my lawn.

i want to be blue,
not like frozen hearts,
but like the warm sky full of sunlight.

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness,
but the color of peace,
...calm,
...serenity,
...compassion,
truth...

the color of vast blue ocean which takes everything in,
even if it makes it dying...
the color of warm blue sky which gives you a space to look up and let you be carried away,
the color of Earth seen from millions of light years away...

i want to blue,
and i am inviting you....

i want to be blue,
'cos blue sky was what i wanted,
as i was waking up to a drizzle outside my window.

i want to be blue,
the color of peace.

and peace be with you...

forced to wake up...

i have a dream...
a dream of a place full of love,
compassion and understanding.

a place where people can be different,
and be protected for it.

a place where i don't have to feel helpless,
every time my heart bleeds silently,
for all the violence and despair.

i dream of love and peace reigning in this world.

but then i was jolted up,
awake,
wild-wide eyed..

no...no...
not another one...
no...please let this be a dream...

but no.
it is not.
not a dream.
not a good dream, at least.

Indonesia, June 2, 2008

it's a funny feeling..

it's a funny feeling,
to extract experience into fiction.

to pretend, as if you and me were mere fictional characters,
in the story feeding in the net through my keyboard.

it's a funny feeling,
to have the illusion,
of having my heart tied in several places,
choking blood and oxygen out of it,
the way i felt..
when i was with you...
simply by writing about it.

and gosh,
it was so so so long time ago.

i guess the shroud of negativity never really left me.

and boy,
how am i glad to have left...

i am not saying i have never looked back, but not in regret...
no, not at all...
not in regret.

sometimes i wondered,
what i could have done differently...
would it make much sense at all...
would it have been better if i had never met you at all
and spare both of us from the works and the damage...

but then again,
it was sweet while the icing lasted,
considering i have never liked icings anyway...

and then...
life was too good to be missed out.

what are meant to be....

As life goes by,

The more I see,

How things that are meant to be,

Simply fall into place.

Like pieces of a puzzle,

Piece by piece,

Forming a beautiful picture,

One piece at a time.

No matter how long it takes,

The winding road it makes,

The twists and turns of the hikes,

For the universe to make it work,

It simply finally come into form,

Beautiful moments at their own time and terms.

But on the other hand,

Some things,

Are simply not meant to be.

And no matter how hard you try,

And how big your wish is for things to work out.

At the end of the day,

You just simply have to let it be.

Let it be…

For the pieces are not a part of your picture..

They don't belong there inside your puzzle.

Just let it be…

And find the other pieces

Which will fit together beautifully.

And beautiful it is,

The puzzle of your own life,

Piece by piece.

Shower of love...

Pernahkah bertanya,
Seandainya semua berbeda...

Seandainya aku tahu,
Apa yang kuketahui hari ini,
Apakah semuanya akan berakhir lain?

Apakah langkah dan hidup akan membawaku ke tempat yang berbeda?
Ataukah pada akhirnya akan tetap sama?
Karena kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama...

Sahabat,
Kalau boleh ku memanggilmu seperti itu...
Aku bersyukur bahwa kita telah mengambil jalan tak sama...
Dan lebih bersyukur lagi karena telah dipertemukan kembali denganmu...

Karena kenangan dan keindahan itu
Tak pernah lekang oleh waktu
Selalu segar dalam ingatan dan hatiku

Setiap saat mengingatmu,
Selalu ada rasa hangat dan senyum di bibirku.
Yang mungkin....
Tidak akan ada di situ...
Kalau saja kita sempat mengambil jalan itu.

Makasih ya Bos,
For giving me such a surprise,
And such great feeling.

And I hope our friendship will last,
As we weave our different destinies and path.

To you, my "twin", the shower of love I pray,
eternally.

--
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