splashes of colors

i wonder how it feels,
to see the world in black and white,
where what we want and what we don't want,
are easily defined,
and lines are easily drawn.

i wonder how it feels,
to be able to put life in two opposite columns,
and starting to check the items off,
one by one.

i wonder how it feels,
to be you.

for my life has always been grey,
grey not because it's a pathetic one,
no,
not that kind of grey.

i love blurring things up,
and pretend that life is purely up to me,
that things are never black or white,
that people are never black or white.

things are simply grey.

there are things that are simply greyish,
or light grey,
or mildly grey,
or dark grey,
or dark vivid grey.

but i love the illusion of power,
of being able to decide,
whether i would like to see them more towards white,
or black,
or leave them as they are,
simply grey.

a mix of things.

i love my pallet of colours,
with which i can splash some red,
or yellow,
or my favourite blue,
or purple,
or green.

and all those colours will not be shadowed by the blackness,
nor the whiteness,
of my canvas.

i wonder how it feels,
for me to hand you my pallet,
and urge you to soak your fingers and toes,
in paints.

and dance....
just dance....
and spray the colours all around you...
make yourself dirty...
and all messed up....

just for the sake,
of not being so black and white,
anymore.

Ann Arbor, 01.23.2009

Inspired by R.

a monument

I put you on a pedestal,
a reminder of days bygone,
a reminder of what might have been,
a reminder of what might not.

I put you on a pedestal,
and from time to time,
I look up and wonder,
wondering whether one of these days,
I can take you down.

I put you on a pedestal,
so I can still hear your voice,
from up there above me,
ringing loud and clear,
piercing my soul,
reminding me of all the things I should be thankful for.

And thankful I am,
for I only have you in my memory,
for your venomous words can no longer shoot through my heart,
for the fact,
that you are no longer in my life.

I put you on a pedestal,
to remind me of my own glory,
to remind me of how grateful I am,
for a life,
without you.

Ann Arbor, 01.14.2009

For: YDI, I found myself still thinking of you, one of the few things I've always been considering to put down as a 'regret'... but no, I live a life of 'no regret'. not even you, could change that.