i want to be blue...

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness...
but the color of serenity.

i want to be blue,
not like five-day-old bruises,
but like the petals of little wild flowers on my lawn.

i want to be blue,
not like frozen hearts,
but like the warm sky full of sunlight.

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness,
but the color of peace,
...calm,
...serenity,
...compassion,
truth...

the color of vast blue ocean which takes everything in,
even if it makes it dying...
the color of warm blue sky which gives you a space to look up and let you be carried away,
the color of Earth seen from millions of light years away...

i want to blue,
and i am inviting you....

i want to be blue,
'cos blue sky was what i wanted,
as i was waking up to a drizzle outside my window.

i want to be blue,
the color of peace.

and peace be with you...

forced to wake up...

i have a dream...
a dream of a place full of love,
compassion and understanding.

a place where people can be different,
and be protected for it.

a place where i don't have to feel helpless,
every time my heart bleeds silently,
for all the violence and despair.

i dream of love and peace reigning in this world.

but then i was jolted up,
awake,
wild-wide eyed..

no...no...
not another one...
no...please let this be a dream...

but no.
it is not.
not a dream.
not a good dream, at least.

Indonesia, June 2, 2008