No Regret!

lepaskanlah

2012-01-07T07:48:00.000+07:00

ingin kukatakan padamu
lepaskanlah
biarkan hidup memberimu pelajaran itu
biarkan ia menunjukkan jalanmu

ingin kukatakan padamu
lepaskanlah
biarkan angin membawa sakit itu
biarkan ia menunjukkan jalanmu

ingin kukatakan padaku
lepaskanlah
tak perlu kupikirkan dirimu
yang berkutat dengan segala kegelapanmu

ingin kukatakan padaku
lepaskanlah
karena hidup dalam terang adalah pilihanku
yang tak bisa kupaksakan padamu

lepaskanlah

Frankfurt, 6 Januari 2012.

Northwind

2012-01-04T19:39:00.000+07:00

i dreamed of flying
i dreamed of floating
i dreamed of chatting with Jack -
of Jack and the Beanstalk -
i dreamed of supporting him on the way up

i dreamed of being
of being the Northwind

whatever that might be

i dreamed of flying

Frankfurt, Jan.4., 2012.

i am

2011-09-05T19:34:00.000+07:00

yo estoy
aku
kula
ana
ich bin
kee
tiyang

in peace

te quiero

2011-09-02T22:16:00.000+07:00

and i love you still

just the way you are

hoping that you'll someday
see
the beauty
i saw
in you

and i love you still

and wish you well

for now
and always

i love you still

no hard feeling

2011-06-07T22:41:00.000+07:00

she took one look at me
then shifted her gaze
and started ringing in my purchase

i was not worth a 'hello'
she spared for everyone else

i paid her the 20 Euro
she didn't say thank you
not to mention
the "have a nice day' routine

she spared that for the others
even that one who paid 2 Euro 45 Cents
behind me
as if my 20 Euro is worth a lot less
just because she thought
i'm just another
stupid, dirty, cheap, poor
immigrant

welcome to ALDI Sued
by the side street of Leipziger Strasse
Frankfurt am Main
Germany
where at night
the pavement smells like pee
literally

Welcome to the new daily reality.

sadness

2011-04-12T17:59:00.000+07:00

TV
radio
internet
news

brought so much
fear
terror
fires
rockets
water
quakes

sadness

the sadness of
an elderly Japanese man
standing in the middle of rubbles
millions of emotions knotted inside his gut
as he bowed his head
tears in his eyes
sobs escaped his lips
as the fear for the worst overcame him
as his world shook
and shook
and shook
and shook
for the zillionth times

utter sadness
to see
the smiling, stoic faces I still somehow have in my head
bowed down
with fear
worries
traumas
being unsure of the future
to see the tears

sadness

and of all the things I've seen
I simply couldn't shake
the image
of
the old man
sobbing

sadness

here is the candle

2011-04-12T17:51:00.000+07:00

here is the candle
you go light the fire

here is the candle
take out the match and strike the spark

here is the candle
for dawn is not yet there
and your path is yet in the dark

here is the candle
find your spark

for you
and you alone

can light
your own candle
and find
your own way

perspectives

2011-03-28T01:10:00.003+07:00

tell me again

what
did
you
say

did i hear you correctly

did
you
just
say
what
i
thought
you
said

did you seriously just ask me
not to love her less
when the request should have been
for me
not to hate you

in what twisted version of reality
did you think we coexist

you
and all
your self righteousness

me
and all the realization
that i owed you nothing

through all my life
all that mattered
had been
paying my debts to you

but i owed you nothing
nothing
at
all

sana'a - darmstadt, march 2011

unanswered

2011-03-28T01:03:00.001+07:00

the answer
provoked
more
questions

maybe the first
shouldn't have been
asked
at
all

there comes a time
when wondering
whether a life
of guessing the answers
is indeed
better
than a life
of questioning

or whether

one is as bad
as
the other

then
your life
becomes
the biggest
question
of all
time

sana'a - darmstadt, march 2011

the longest kiss

2011-02-27T01:15:00.000+07:00

that first kiss
still lingers with me

that magic number
between three and seven and a half
that defines
you
and me

from countless hours
to days
to weeks
to months
and probably for years to come

those stolen kisses
will always be there
your first
and mine

and though you said
'thank goodness i'll only know you for a short time
or i'd be in love with you'
we both found out
that falling in love
took no time at all

but the kiss
the first magical one
took forever

Salatiga, February 26, 2011.

rasa hangat di dada

2011-02-27T00:56:00.000+07:00

namamu
menyelinap halus dari sepasang bibirku
seperti kenangan tentangmu
yang hadir begitu saja

senyummu
takkan pernah lekang dimakan waktu
walau bertahun sudah tak pernah kulihat itu
hadir di depan mataku

bagiku
begitu banyak kenangan tersisa
pertanyaan
perandaian
sejumput penyesalan
yang tak jua melapuk memudar
tentangmu

tapi untukmu
masih selalu ada rasa hangat itu
ketika aku sekedar mengingatmu
atau dengan takzim menyebut namamu

teman kecilku

Salatiga, 26 Februari 2011.

Memory is a strange animal...

2011-02-19T18:55:00.001+07:00

Memory is a strange animal
it wraps itself around you
protects you from harsh reality
keeps you somewhere safe
and warm

Memory is a strange animal
it brings back pain
keeps hatred alive and kicking
and let you hold grudge

Memory is a strange animal
running wild inside you head
turning in circles inside your heart
and left you completely lost

Memory is a strange animal
it burns you inside
engulfs you in crazy fires
longing
anger

it freezes you down
with desperation
loneliness
alienation

Memory is a strange animal
it gives you yesterday
it might give you tomorrow....
but in truth
it takes away your today

Salatiga, February 2011

the men with beautiful eye lashes

2010-03-19T01:15:00.002+07:00

my
men
had
beautiful
eye
lashes

long and perfect
over a pair of
browns
blacks
greens
greys
blues
hazelnuts

my
men
had
beautiful
eye
lashes

and i wonder why
that's the one thing
that amazed me
the most.

glimpses of life

2010-02-21T23:05:00.003+07:00

little squares of light
yellow warm light

books stacked to the ceiling
single orchid on a windowsill
empty loveseat with a cozy throw on top of it
table with napkins strewn all over
people sitting around dinner

little squares of light
yellow warm light

passed by quickly
as the train swished by
in the middle of a barren winter land
cutting through the white track

little squares of light
yellow warm light

glimpses of life
suspended in one moment in time
within the warmth of the familiar

little squares of light
yellow warm light

i wonder what would have been visible
if someone had looked into the window
of my old apartment
as they passed by
in the dead of a winter night

Friedrichsdorf - Frankfurt a.M. - Darmstadt train, January 2010

the ultimate gift

2010-01-28T20:48:00.003+07:00

it's been years that i live
with the beauty of your handwriting

the small notes you sent me
cards that came with tiny gifts
letters of days long forgotten

those days before text messages
e-mails and facebook
we wrote long letter to each other
and i treasure every moment i read
those tidy lines
of your handwriting

and once in a while
there were these Easter, and Christmas,
and New Year and Birthday cards..
and Valentine's, graduation,and get-well-soon
and the tiny desk clock,
and the pocket agenda...
all adorned with your handwriting

and this year,
the precious frame with our picture,
and your handwriting.

the ultimate gift,
has been your friendship,
and your beautiful handwriting,
years after years.

and for that,
thank you.

there's enough love in the world... don't be afraid...

2010-01-25T01:38:00.003+07:00

there's enough love in the world,
for you, my dear,
don't worry.

there's enough caresses in store for you,
gentle words,
reassuring hugs.

there's enough pain to last a lifetime,
but there's not enough time to spend your life,
wallowing in self pity.

there's enough love in the world for you, my dear,
if only you could open your eyes...

or maybe, if only you could close your eyes,
and open your heart instead.

listening to all those unspoken words,
taking them for granted,
and just believe that people are being sincere.

there's enough love in the world,
don't be afraid to fail,
because there's enough love in the world,
to help you heal.

and if somebody says,
Te quiero,
just take it for granted that it's true.

though it seems impossible.

of all the imperfections that i am,
one thing you know is true,
i don't lie to you.

karangan bunga

2010-01-25T01:31:00.002+07:00

di dalam hatiku,
akan selalu ada kamu.

serpihan kelopak bunga,
terkapar lelah di pelataran jiwa,
nan tak kunjung menggulung kuning.

semoga keindahan menjadi pengingat,
bahwa kasih tak akan mudah mati.

di luar sana, kawan,
akan selalu ada orang yang menyayangimu,
meskipun bila kau tak menyadarinya.

what if

2009-11-23T22:35:00.001+07:00

what if
i realized that i had been in love with you
the way you were in love with me

what if
i realized that my first love had been sitting there
right next to me
first grade of junior high

what if
i knew that those pink envelopes
i passed along to the prettiest girl in class
would hold promises made
to me

what if
i had been spared
all those years of loneliness
and feelings of unwantedness
because i had a boyfriend
in you

what if
i had never left this city
because you were in it
and it was good enough
already

what if
i could not be
the person
i am today

and i thank the Lord
for those days
when i didn't realize
that i
might have loved you
as much
as you had loved me
and held me dearly
in your mind

inginnya sih....

2009-11-05T02:36:00.002+07:00

inginnya sih...

menjadi:

plester untuk lukamu
kompres untuk kepalamu
kipas untuk hari-hari panasmu
syal untuk hari-hari musim gugurmu
jaket untuk hari-hari musim dinginmu
topi yang menutupi garis rambutmu yang selalu kaubilang tambah menipis itu
deodoran yang membuatmu selalu berbau lezat setiap saat
laptop yang menemani hari-hari belajarmu
speaker yang memainkan lagu-lagu aneh kesukaanmu
dan buku-buku sejarah itu....

bahu tempatmu bersandar
seperti kala kau membasahinya dengan air matamu
handuk yang mengeringkan keringatmu
seperti setelah kau sibuk mengejar-ejar barang kecil yang bernama 'puck' itu
telinga tempatmu berkeluh
seperti malam-malam yang kauhabiskan bercerita tentang lukamu
suara yang membuatmu tersenyum
kala kaudengar kata-kata yang mencoba membuatmu percaya
bahwa kau
istimewa

aku ingin

menjadi

sahabat sejatimu

tapi tentu saja,
bahasa ini,
bukan bahasamu,
dan kamu,
tidak akan pernah memahami,
bahwa semua ini,
lebih dari sekedar,
kata-kata.

yang tak terkatakan

2009-11-05T02:25:00.002+07:00

aku menyayangimu
seperti pemain akrobat meniti tali tanpa jaring pengaman
penuh bahaya

aku menyayangimu
seperti masokis yang menyayat diri
pedih yang dinantikan

aku menyayangimu
seperti penari reog memakan beling
mistis yang mengebaskan

aku menyayangimu
seperti cenayang memanggil hantu
horor yang diharapkan

aku menyayangimu
seperti kisah cinta perokok dan paru-parunya
kematian perlahan

aku menyayangimu

meskipun selalu ingin kulupakan

namun aku
masih
menyayangimu

ray of light

2009-10-12T23:23:00.003+07:00

hey, thanks for the long overdue e-mail
it brightened my day

hey, thanks for the long overdue e-mail
it gave me something to look forward to

hey, thanks for the long overdue e-mail
i guess i still find a friend in you

hey, thanks for the long overdue e-mail
see you the coming new year's eve

hey, thank you.
in case the message,
hasn't reached you properly.

11/10/2009

Kanggo kancaku sing lagi wae ngirimi aku e-mail :)

stalking

2009-10-11T16:49:00.003+07:00

an arrow stuck in my heart
a chill went down my spine
pain washed up my being

realizing that you are no longer mine
and those eyes are not twinkling for me
no longer me you miss in the wee hours of night
it was not me you messaged good night

it was not me who tuck you good night
caressing your feverish head from far apart

and when you were lying there sick
it was not me you turned to

and i wonder why i need to see what is happening in your life
and wishing that i could be happy for you
as you are
moving on....

a chronicle of showers

2009-10-09T18:05:00.003+07:00

he who likes it
cold in the mornings
warm in the evenings
and never too hot

he who likes it
super hot
followed directly by
super cold
in the mornings

he who likes it
buckets after buckets
of cold water
splashed down the back
and all over the bathroom walls

he who likes it
lukewarm
a delicate mixture of
freshly boiled water
with a dose of spring water

he who likes it
coming in plenty
a tub full of hot water
with incense sticks burning
by the side
in the evenings

to he who likes it
steaming hot
fogging all the mirrors
and glass doors
watching steams seeping out
under the door

a chronicle of showers...

and love
is apparent
through the smallest details

masih merindukanmu

2009-10-08T16:19:00.002+07:00

sesayup lagu menjangkau telingaku
kala raga tak lagi bersama
dan senyum tak lagi bisa menyapa

aku masih merindukanmu

bila kututup mataku
selubungi jiwa dengan nada
serasa kau masih ada di sana

aku masih merindukanmu

ingin kusumbat telinga ini
tapi hati serasa pemutar piringan hitam
yang berputar
berputar
berputar
berputar

sampai tak terdengar lagi
nada sumbang
goresan waktu dan jarak

aku masih merindukanmu

seandainya kau tahu....

i must have loved you.... don't you think?

2009-10-03T12:23:00.002+07:00

small jokes
smart-ass remarks
songs filtering through a jeans shop
snippets of conversations
smiles beneath the sun

can't get you out of my head
and neither from my heart

i must have loved you,
don't you think so?

siente el boom...

2009-09-17T12:59:00.003+07:00

the change of rhythm
the familiar song filtered through the speakers
movements shifted

skin and sweat glistened under fading lights
my margarita empty a long while back

weary legs on a pair of heels
after a couple of hours of salsa and bachata

Thursday turned to Friday
at Cafe Habana
with Siente el Boom
of Tito El Bambino

missing it like crazy.

17/09/09

click....

2009-09-09T01:33:00.002+07:00

that cross next to your name
on that tab

just clicked it

now

that window is no longer open

and i don't know anymore
whether you are there

or
not

not that it doesn't matter
it does

but i guess
it doesn't matter
that it does

09/09/09

lie to me...

2009-09-06T07:10:00.002+07:00

people always say
that
honesty is the best thing

well, baby
sometimes I'd rather
have you lie to me

when you close that door
leave a bouquet of flowers by my window
but cut the thorns away

for when I caress it
I want to caress it with tears and bittersweet smile
not blood from my soul

empty those frames of you and I

but I'd rather not know
there are other snapshots in them
already

because you know what,
baby

sometimes I'd really rather have you
lie to me

the fact that you are leaving
is too much information already

05/09/2009

~ inspired by a circle of dramatic friends and circumstances ;p ~

wild horses.....

2009-09-04T22:53:00.003+07:00

a heart
like a wild horse

tall
shining
beautiful

a heart
like a wild horse

vibrant
strong
spirited

a heart
like a wild horse

trotting
galloping
running with the wind

a heart
like a wild horse

rein it in

so that it takes you
on its strong and shiny back
to exotic faraway places

instead of dragging you along
on wild aimless rides

a heart
like a wild horse

just like mine

and yours.

04/09/2009

~ dedicated to a good friend, 'and boy, i hope you are enjoying the rides you choose to take with your horse, and hope you conquer it in time before it conquers you' ~

untukmu

2009-08-28T00:29:00.004+07:00

memelukmu
meskipun hanya sesaat
cukup bagiku

saat memejam mata
tetap kulihat kau
dalam gelapnya kepalaku

kukepalkan tangan ini
masih kuraba kau
dalam kosongnya genggamanku

kuhela nafas dalam
selalu kucium aroma khas dirimu
dalam lengangnya lorong waktu

memelukmu
meskipun dalam ingatanku
cukup bagiku

28/08/09

gentleman in training

2009-08-21T01:13:00.000+07:00

simple gestures
kindness
and grace

your flat palm
on the small of my back
when the monkeys
freaked me out

your questioning gaze
asking
‘do you need protection’
as those guys were giving me
stare downs

remembering
which side i liked to walk
and made space

switching over
to where
the traffic came from

offering a taste
of food
or unusual drinks

not offering
to carry my bag
nor lead me
up the steep stairs
until i asked you to

after all
you are

a gentleman in training

LOL
^ o ^

21/08/09

a thought for you, each day

2009-08-15T17:49:00.003+07:00

each day,
i will write a line,
asking you,
how you are,
wishing you,
a very great day.

each day,
i will whisper a little prayer,
hoping that you are doing fine,
wishing for those sparkling eyes,
to stay twinkling.

each day,
i will tug you up at night,
with hugs and gentle lullabies,
carried over by the calm night breeze.

each day,
i will tell the universe my secret mission,
thinking that you would understand.

how much i really care about you

even without you knowing it

14/08/2009

in a dream

2009-08-14T23:41:00.001+07:00

magically transported back
to that tiny space
of you and i

blabbering words of apology

that dismissive glance
over your left shoulder

and

‘you’re the best thing that happened to me in this ****’

me flabbergasted
jolted back to the waking world

14/08/09

Love story at the Angkor

2009-08-14T23:38:00.003+07:00

Never before I felt such tranquility,
In the midst of such unfamiliar terrain,
Encountering unfamiliar feelings.

A sense of awe,
And peacefulness,
In the midst of all the newness of the situation.

For once in my life,
I jumped on a plane,
Leaving a mountain of responsibilities and self doubt,
And embarked on a crazy, spontaneous journey.

Looking back and having no regret,
Feeling the waves of love taking over me.

Wanting to shut my eyes tight,
Losing myself…
But I opened them wide instead,
And felt the love,
Indulging myself.

For it was a time,
For me, my camera, and the sun,
Beneath the shadows of the Angkor temples.

Summer 2009

PS: for two of my most amazing best friends, thank you for making this experience possible.

Bangkok is a lousy place to be alone

2009-08-14T12:52:00.000+07:00

Bangkok is a lousy place to be alone…
I guess I told you that already.

The noise of traffic,
The rich colors of fabrics and people,
The fragrance of pad thai, pineapple, fried grasshoppers, and incense,
Engulfing me,
Like a shroud around my being.

The lighted signs of cafes and restaurants,
The shoulders rubbing my shoulders,
The glances cast at my direction,
The thoughts swirling in my head,
The voice inside my heart calling out your name.

In the midst of the humdrum of Khao San road,
I have never felt so alone.

Bangkok is a lousy place to be alone,
And though you’re with me,
I am missing you already.

Summer 2009

perching up high...

2009-06-21T20:52:00.002+07:00

looking out of the window
from the fifth floor of the building without elevator

I caught a whiff of the now familiar aroma of this city

diesel fume of the perpetually honking taxis
gasoline fume of the zooming Land Cruisers
fragrant aroma of the various kebab corners….
and the familiar throat choking dust carried by the desert wind
whistling through the windows of my classroom

and I cannot be grateful enough
for the fact that the wind was blowing the ‘right’ way
instead of filling my mouth with the taste of the light brown city dust

Oh how sometimes I wish I had brought my pashmina along…

Yemen College of Middle Eastern Studies & Yemen Language Center

Sana’a, June 21, 2009

can't dance without you...

2009-05-31T16:50:00.003+07:00

So many steps taken,
Many arms held,
Music turned up,
Rhythm counted,
But in my heart…
You will always be….

No salsa will feel the same without you, Steve,
For all the months we trained together,
All the rhythm miscalculated,
All the steps miscounted,
All the trials and errors made,
All the fun we shared.

No lead will match up to you, Julio,
For all the graceful moves,
The gentle but defined leads,
The unmistaken guide through impossible moves.

No bachata will feel the same without you, Matt,
The other side of you I’ve seen through the songs,
And the moves,
And the leads,
How it made you a completely different lead than in salsa,
How gentle you could be,
And how an amazing bachata you made.

No learning on the spot will be the same without you, Nat,
And how we learnt to bachata right there on the dance floor,
And having fun was much more than just looking cool,
And making the right moves.

And there will be no moment that I hear reggaeton when I don’t miss you, Tyler,
For finally…
In my crazy little world,
Somebody actually jumped at the chance to share a reggaeton with me,
And it had been purely fun and energizing.

And for all you,
A million of thank you’s and love,
For making such a magical journey
Through music and dance.

And forever you will be,
In my heart,
Whenever I dance to our songs.

just one soul

2009-05-19T05:21:00.000+07:00

If dancing can change the world,
I would wear out a million pairs of shoes.
If crying could wash out all the hatred,
I would cry my heart out.
If singing could pacify the restless mankind,
I would hum lovely lullabies.

I wish I could bring you lovely melodies,
I wish I could dance away your pain for you,
I wish I could tuck you in at night with soothing lullabies,
I wish I could wipe away your tears,
And fears.

I wish I could change the world.

If smiling could bring another smile on the way,
I would smile forever.

And that is exactly what I intend to do.

If I could touch one soul,
Just one soul,
The way you touched mine,
With that beautiful smile,
I would smile….
And smile….
And smile…
And smile….

For I cannot change the world,
But I can smile,
And wish that the smile makes a difference,
Even if it is for one soul,
Only for one soul.

Yours.

Salatiga, May 18, 2009

....panjenengan....

2009-05-19T05:20:00.000+07:00

Ing weninging ati,
Sepining wengi,
Aku kelingan sliramu,
Sing wis suwe takantu-antu.

Keprungu swaramu,
Kelingan esemmu,
Kepara kabeh rinasa semu,
Amarga atiku dudu duwekmu.

Kangmas,
Ing jroning atiku,
Tansah ana sliramu,
Ora-oraa kewates wektu.

Lan asmamu,
Tansah keprungu ing kupingku.

Nanging uripku,
Dudu duwekmu.

Salatiga, 18 Mei 2009

embun

2009-05-18T01:05:00.003+07:00

rapuh,
seperti embun yang mengembang di pagi hari.

lembut,
seperti kabut yang melayang di pekat pagi.

segar,
seperti embun yang menggelinjang di dedaunan sunyi.

misteri,
seperti kabut yang menutup segalanya.

dan cintamu,
kan kujaga...selama kubisa.

kerapuhannya,
kelembutannya,
kesegaran yang dibawanya,
misteri keberadaannya,
....... bagaikan embun bagi pagi-pagi jiwaku.....

untukmu,
selamanya,
takkan pernah kulupa.

in your eyes

2009-05-10T23:34:00.001+07:00

in your eyes,
i see a better me,

a reflection of love,
compassion,
passion,
patience,
affection,
strength,
honesty.

in you eyes,
i see a prettier me.

a picture of beauty,
intelligence,
knowledge,
wisdom,
experience.

in your eyes,
i see a stronger me.

a vision of adventure,
challenges,
opportunities,
bravery,
independence.

in your eyes,
i see perfection.

the ups and downs,
the strengths and weaknesses,
the frailty and stubbornness,
the dreams and illusions,
the obsessions and realities,
all the shortcomings that made me what I am.

in my eyes,
I see You.

and the Perfection that is You.

and hope,
that you see it, too.

Salatiga, May 10, 2009

dedicated to the Rowdy one :p

die Kerze

2009-05-10T23:29:00.000+07:00

Let it burn,
Let it burn,
Let it burn until the end,
Until all the wax has melted,
And the wick turns withered and black.

Let it burn,
Let it burn,
Let it burn until the end,
Until the drops of hot wax burn your skin,
And makes you wince with pain.

Let it burn,
Let it burn,
Let it burn bright,
Let it burn fast.

Let it burn,
The way I’d burn for a desire to live,
And live life,
Live life to the fullest.

Salatiga, May 10, 2009

footwork

2009-05-10T23:27:00.001+07:00

Dance with me.

Let the rhythm enters your soul.

Free you heart.

Dance with me.
Hold my hands and don’t let go.
Touch my back and leave your hands there.

Dance with me.
And let the music carry us away.
To the land of passion and energy.

Dance with me.
Watch me sway for you.
Move with me and lead me away.

Dance with me.

Let your feet roam free.

Watch me smile for you.

Move for you.

And dance with me.

Just dance with me.

the boy with hazel eyes

2009-05-03T03:59:00.003+07:00

and the boy with hazel eyes falls asleep,
in the arms of his guardian angel,
soft, warm, protected from the world.

and the boy with hazel eyes opens his big heart,
to a world of wonder, and love and anticipation.

and the boy with hazel eyes no longer fears himself,
for himself is the first he should love,
and cherish,
and respect,
until the end of times.

and the boy with hazel eyes looks at his guardian angel,
and asks her,
'why do i feel pain?'

she answers,
'because of your big heart, my boy...
because you take the pain and make it yours...'

and the boy with hazel eyes cries....
pouring his heart out in her arms.

and she held him, she held him...
she held him....
until moments became eternity...
and the world melted into one.

and as she disappeared like a morning fog giving away to the sun,
he heard her say,
'you have such a great heart, my boy with hazel eyes,
and i feel your pain...
but fear not,
for my arms will always be there...
wherever you are.'

Changi, May 3, 2009

the price of following one's heart

2009-04-28T00:54:00.002+07:00

the price of following one's heart,
is sometimes hard to gauge.
could cost one nothing at all,
could cost one a zillion things at once.

the price of following one's heart,
often means taking a winding road,
a puzzle-like map into the the unknown,
and hitting the wall multiple times.

the price of following one's heart,
is very dear.

the price of following one's heart,
is to get lost.
lost in the darkness of one's soul,
asking if there will ever be light at the end of the tunnel,
setting the heart free of misery and never-ending referee.

the price of following one's heart,
is to feel pain,
confusion,
bewilderment,
excitement.

taste the tanginess of sweat and tears,
wipe the occasional blood dripping through the pores,
of one's broken heart.

the price of following one's heart,
is the readiness to heal oneself.

the price of my heart,
is you.

Ann Arbor, April 28, 2009

six six six

2009-04-26T01:02:00.003+07:00

six is a lucky number,
for the world was blessed to welcome you.

six is a lucky number,
for the hours shared picturing distant stars and awesome dreams.

six is a lucky number,
for the days of sunlight and moonshine at hand.

Come,
and Walk with me.

Ann Arbor, April 25, 2009

Inspired by Clint Eastwood :p

and i love you more than the others ;p

2009-04-19T11:16:00.004+07:00

indeed,
i love you more than the others ;p

not because you are the most beautiful looking,
though beautiful you are, indeed.

not because you are the best dancer ever,
though i think you are really really awesome.

not because you are the gentlest person that ever grace the face of the earth,
though i kind of have a glimpse on how sweet you could be.

not because you are the easiest person to work with,
though i know now better than when i first started.

i love you more than the others ;p
because of the way you bloom like a shy daffodil on the Diag

i love you more than the others ;p
because of the rare jokes and silliness that escaped from time to time from your fiercely guarded efficiency.

i love you more than the others ;p
because of the way your smile lights up your face at those moments when you let your guards down.

i love you more than the others ;p
because you eventually let your guards down at all.

i love you more than the others ;p
because i feel deep inside of someone calling out,
someone who are as carefree as a bird,
as cheerful as a Summer sunshine,
as fleet-footed as a deer in Fall,
as gorgeous as a rainbow on an early Spring day,
as amazing as my first snow of the legendary Michigan Winter.

i love you more than the others ;p
because you continue to amaze me,
but not surprise me.

i love you more than the others ;p
because i know,
there is so much more to come.

and i am sad,
because i won't be there to uncover the jewels,
of your personality puzzle.

but still,
you are right....
i love you more than the others ;p

but you are wrong,
because it is not something that you need to live up to,
because i love you,
for what it's worth,
for who you are.

and i love the way,
you bloom...
slowly....

may your Spring be magical,
as magical as the flower,
which is You.

Ann Arbor, April 19, 2009

Inspired by and dedicated to a very special friend whose words are quoted in this poem ;p

senandungku untukmu

2009-04-19T11:02:00.005+07:00

sesaat terdiam,
terpaku,
terlena.

menatap hari demi hari yang akan terlewatkan,
tanpamu,
dan hatiku terperanjat.

selirih senja merambat perlahan,
rindu gelap menapaki jalan setapak mimpi,
ah...rasanya tak ingin berpisah.

selintas mata berpadu,
dan ingin kukatakan,
betapa aku ingin menyapamu.

dengan setiap tatapan mata,
dengan setiap kata permana,
dengan setiap langkah tertata.

ingin kuterawang mimpi ini,
dan kupersembahkan kepadamu,
dalam karangan bunga musim semi.

dan ketika matahari menyinari,
kuinginkan hangatnya menyapamu,
dan berkata,
apa kabar, cantik?

dalam mimpiku kusenandungkan sebuah lagu,
berselimutkan doa dan harapan,
akan kebahagiaan yang akan menjemputmu.

karena kau.... indah adanya.

senandungku untukmu,
senandung sunyi dalam kalbu,
yang takkan pernah kauterawang apa maknanya.

and for you,
a silent song i sing,
may it be a lullaby,
that sends you the best dreams,
sends you off into spring.

Ann Arbor, April 19, 2009

Hey Beautiful!

2009-04-18T02:31:00.004+07:00

Hey Beautiful,
nice to see you today,
did i tell you how sweet it was to dance in your arms last night?
no, maybe not.

Hey Beautiful,
look at the spring outside,
the sun so bright and everybody is so happy,
where are you?

Hey Beautiful,
i wonder why i can't get you out of my head,
thinking of of how long it took me to see,
the beauty of your soul.

Hey Beautiful,
how are you today?
hope you managed to come fresh to work,
after regretting the fact that you stayed up much too late last night.

Hey Beautiful,
did i tell you i liked the way you look,
with your new haircut and the contact lenses?
you did, by the way, look really cute.

Hey Beautiful,
stop taking life so seriously by its neck,
you look much cuter when you are smiling,
and when you are making jokes....oh so divine...

Hey Beautiful,
this is not a love poem,
though i wish it could have been,
because you certainly deserve one.

Hey Beautiful,
you are special in every way,
and though it takes some time and getting used to,
your charm is beyond belief.

Don't ever ask, whether this is special for you,
Just take it, believe in it...
Just inhale the sweetness and let it be...
For special people deserve special appreciation,
And you are certainly one of a kind.

For sometimes life needs no reasoning,
oh well....look who's talking...
But appreciate yourself and let yourself shine,
For forever will I remember,
how beautiful you are,
to me.

Ann Arbor, April 17, 2009
Dedicated to M.J.

splashes of colors

2009-01-24T02:07:00.003+07:00

i wonder how it feels,
to see the world in black and white,
where what we want and what we don't want,
are easily defined,
and lines are easily drawn.

i wonder how it feels,
to be able to put life in two opposite columns,
and starting to check the items off,
one by one.

i wonder how it feels,
to be you.

for my life has always been grey,
grey not because it's a pathetic one,
no,
not that kind of grey.

i love blurring things up,
and pretend that life is purely up to me,
that things are never black or white,
that people are never black or white.

things are simply grey.

there are things that are simply greyish,
or light grey,
or mildly grey,
or dark grey,
or dark vivid grey.

but i love the illusion of power,
of being able to decide,
whether i would like to see them more towards white,
or black,
or leave them as they are,
simply grey.

a mix of things.

i love my pallet of colours,
with which i can splash some red,
or yellow,
or my favourite blue,
or purple,
or green.

and all those colours will not be shadowed by the blackness,
nor the whiteness,
of my canvas.

i wonder how it feels,
for me to hand you my pallet,
and urge you to soak your fingers and toes,
in paints.

and dance....
just dance....
and spray the colours all around you...
make yourself dirty...
and all messed up....

just for the sake,
of not being so black and white,
anymore.

Ann Arbor, 01.23.2009

Inspired by R.

a monument

2009-01-24T00:04:00.003+07:00

I put you on a pedestal,
a reminder of days bygone,
a reminder of what might have been,
a reminder of what might not.

I put you on a pedestal,
and from time to time,
I look up and wonder,
wondering whether one of these days,
I can take you down.

I put you on a pedestal,
so I can still hear your voice,
from up there above me,
ringing loud and clear,
piercing my soul,
reminding me of all the things I should be thankful for.

And thankful I am,
for I only have you in my memory,
for your venomous words can no longer shoot through my heart,
for the fact,
that you are no longer in my life.

I put you on a pedestal,
to remind me of my own glory,
to remind me of how grateful I am,
for a life,
without you.

Ann Arbor, 01.14.2009

For: YDI, I found myself still thinking of you, one of the few things I've always been considering to put down as a 'regret'... but no, I live a life of 'no regret'. not even you, could change that.

Unfaithful

2008-11-03T13:09:00.002+07:00

engmy heartbeat skipped a beat,
when his skin touched mine,
his smile created millions of beautiful pictures,
his scent pictures zillions of grant images.

and for a moment,
i miss him more than you.

when the nearness became unbearable,
and the distance became so profound,
the heat is burning me alive.

and for a moment,
wild imagination fleeted by.

of me in his arms,
instead of yours,
of my eyes caressing his,
instead of yours.

and yet,
the world goes round,
and i am still yours,
instead of mine.

a piece of art and imagination dedicated to all long distance relationships
Ann Arbor, November 3, 2008

to my imaginary friend...

2008-10-28T04:49:00.004+07:00

Today, you are a mere figment of my imagination...

Your kind words...

Your warm touch...

Your laughter echoing down the hallways of my memory.

Today, you are a dark shadow at the doorsill of my private chamber...

Your smile shimmered in the darkness...

I could see it in the way your ears shooting upward with each gesture.

I cannot see, though,

The sharp gaze of you cool grey eyes,

Locking into mine and challenging me.

I cannot feel, though,

The strength of your arms,

Hugging me and telling me not to worry.

I cannot tell you, though,

How much I miss your presence,

Lending me strength to go on,

Lending me ears to listen to my adventures.

But I still feel you here...

Through the wheels you put under my soles,

Through the wings you grew on my back,

Through the belief you planted in my heart...

That I can soar high...

Higher than I expected,

That I can move forward....

Farther than I have ever imagined.

I simply wish,

That wind would carry this feeling of missing you,

And would somehow shower you with blessings and happiness...

Wherever you are...

My imaginary friend.

i want to be blue...

2008-06-07T23:29:00.004+07:00

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness...
but the color of serenity.

i want to be blue,
not like five-day-old bruises,
but like the petals of little wild flowers on my lawn.

i want to be blue,
not like frozen hearts,
but like the warm sky full of sunlight.

i want to be blue,
not the color of sadness,
but the color of peace,
...calm,
...serenity,
...compassion,
truth...

the color of vast blue ocean which takes everything in,
even if it makes it dying...
the color of warm blue sky which gives you a space to look up and let you be carried away,
the color of Earth seen from millions of light years away...

i want to blue,
and i am inviting you....

i want to be blue,
'cos blue sky was what i wanted,
as i was waking up to a drizzle outside my window.

i want to be blue,
the color of peace.

and peace be with you...

forced to wake up...

2008-06-02T18:02:00.003+07:00

i have a dream...
a dream of a place full of love,
compassion and understanding.

a place where people can be different,
and be protected for it.

a place where i don't have to feel helpless,
every time my heart bleeds silently,
for all the violence and despair.

i dream of love and peace reigning in this world.

but then i was jolted up,
awake,
wild-wide eyed..

no...no...
not another one...
no...please let this be a dream...

but no.
it is not.
not a dream.
not a good dream, at least.

Indonesia, June 2, 2008

it's a funny feeling..

2008-05-28T16:53:00.003+07:00

it's a funny feeling,
to extract experience into fiction.

to pretend, as if you and me were mere fictional characters,
in the story feeding in the net through my keyboard.

it's a funny feeling,
to have the illusion,
of having my heart tied in several places,
choking blood and oxygen out of it,
the way i felt..
when i was with you...
simply by writing about it.

and gosh,
it was so so so long time ago.

i guess the shroud of negativity never really left me.

and boy,
how am i glad to have left...

i am not saying i have never looked back, but not in regret...
no, not at all...
not in regret.

sometimes i wondered,
what i could have done differently...
would it make much sense at all...
would it have been better if i had never met you at all
and spare both of us from the works and the damage...

but then again,
it was sweet while the icing lasted,
considering i have never liked icings anyway...

and then...
life was too good to be missed out.

what are meant to be....

2008-03-25T10:38:00.005+07:00

As life goes by,

The more I see,

How things that are meant to be,

Simply fall into place.

Like pieces of a puzzle,

Piece by piece,

Forming a beautiful picture,

One piece at a time.

No matter how long it takes,

The winding road it makes,

The twists and turns of the hikes,

For the universe to make it work,

It simply finally come into form,

Beautiful moments at their own time and terms.

But on the other hand,

Some things,

Are simply not meant to be.

And no matter how hard you try,

And how big your wish is for things to work out.

At the end of the day,

You just simply have to let it be.

Let it be…

For the pieces are not a part of your picture..

They don't belong there inside your puzzle.

Just let it be…

And find the other pieces

Which will fit together beautifully.

And beautiful it is,

The puzzle of your own life,

Piece by piece.

Shower of love...

2008-01-30T17:33:00.002+07:00

Pernahkah bertanya,
Seandainya semua berbeda...

Seandainya aku tahu,
Apa yang kuketahui hari ini,
Apakah semuanya akan berakhir lain?

Apakah langkah dan hidup akan membawaku ke tempat yang berbeda?
Ataukah pada akhirnya akan tetap sama?
Karena kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama...

Sahabat,
Kalau boleh ku memanggilmu seperti itu...
Aku bersyukur bahwa kita telah mengambil jalan tak sama...
Dan lebih bersyukur lagi karena telah dipertemukan kembali denganmu...

Karena kenangan dan keindahan itu
Tak pernah lekang oleh waktu
Selalu segar dalam ingatan dan hatiku

Setiap saat mengingatmu,
Selalu ada rasa hangat dan senyum di bibirku.
Yang mungkin....
Tidak akan ada di situ...
Kalau saja kita sempat mengambil jalan itu.

Makasih ya Bos,
For giving me such a surprise,
And such great feeling.

And I hope our friendship will last,
As we weave our different destinies and path.

To you, my "twin", the shower of love I pray,
eternally.

--
kleinetheresia.blogsome.com
eptheresia.blogspot.com
eptheresia.multiply.com

TGIF...again...

2008-01-28T14:03:00.002+07:00

Thank God It's Friday...
was one of the things crossing my mind that day...
though never in my life I may
guess what life has in store for me that day.

as any Friday goes in my super ordinary life
another week is rolling down in another wave...

and yet, that day I would wind down with a big grin across my face
for all the shock and surprises.

a message rang through my cell phone,
and for a moment I was just sitting there trying to decipher it...
Who on earth it is?

a message from a not so distant past...
followed by such a nerve calming phone conversation...

gosh...how I still remember your voice...
with the rhythm, choices of words, jokes...
and yet, I was so relieved, because the dreaded cynicism never came across.

Hello there, it was great to be able to laugh with you again....
with no tension over the phone...
Gosh...it really felt good...

and as if life decided to bring all my glorious past on me that particular day...
somewhere through MSN,
all of a sudden popped a familiar name, blinking green...

Hello there...how are you doing?
And the chat was amazing...
as if we have never stopped talking
and I finished the day beaming...
and thinking...
"What have I done this week to deserve such nice surprises?"

A cute phonecall after lunch...
sure...if I forgot to mention that
somebody would be really mad.

And as I thought that the day was coming to an end...
As calls of prayer resounded through walls...
A phonecall went through...again...

And as I picked up the phone...
I was led into yet, another huge surprise...

Oh my...what a lucky day...
And through the night I whispered a little prayer...

"Thank you for today...
Thank you for all my life...
and for blessing me with such people..
Whose warm touch and 'voices' have been inspiring me in this journey...
Thank you...
For all the treasures...
Thank you....for such a wonderful and magical Friday"

Banda Aceh, Friday, January 25, 2008

what happens when you're tired?

2008-01-17T11:12:00.001+07:00

what happens when you are tired?
do you get bored?
do you get physically sick?
do you get unproductive?
all day long sitting, starring till your eyes pop out to the ever-blinking monitor?

i wish i could simply let go...
and lie down and let myself be calmed with some lullabies
wish i could shut down this computer and just let it sit...
just let it sit...

there are questions whether the whole thing is made for me, at all...
whether i am made for this thing at all,
and it does not really help when deep down inside i have to admit...
i don't know...
i simply don't have a clue...

all i know is that at this point of time...
i want to stop...
just quit...
move on
and does not look back...

but then again,
maybe it is just exhaustion...
...i hope this is just exhaustion....

Banda Aceh, January 17, 2008

leaping into the land of the unknown...

2007-12-26T18:10:00.001+07:00

life has its twists and turns
and time and time again
no matter how many times i turn back and reflect
i am still always amazed...

how on earth did i get here?
how on earth my world turns out to be the way it is..
how on earth did i end up with all these things on my plate...

sometimes it is exhilaratingly too good to be true
sometimes it feels as if life has been rushing on top of me
sometimes it feels that life cannot be much more complicated...

with all the twists and turns,
i am still gratefully amazed,
that somehow,
i am here,
now.

that year by year,
with all the confusion, fear and depression,
comes always new beginnings,
new opportunities,
new challenges.

new reasons to be happy,
new reasons to be scared.

but time and time again,
leave me wondering,
how on earth do i deserve to experience all this?

and so,
as a thanksgiving to such a wonderful life,
let's live life to the fullest,
and making the best of what we've got.

b'coz, o boy....how lucky we are....

Happy New Year 2008

being beautiful is...

2007-05-02T16:06:00.004+07:00

being beautiful is....

ah, difficult to describe...

one layer,

two layers,

three layers of face powder,

smoothening your face ....

expensive face powder,

famous branded treatment products.

being beautiful is....

difficult to feel...

when do you feel beautiful,

in the middle of life's restlessness,

life on the fast track...

are you feeling beautiful,

when you feel that you are racing against time?

close your eyes,

and see the ray shining from your heart,

the ray shining through from your sense of security.

the feeling of possessing all the beauty within yourself.

the feeling of being beautiful,

does not depend on how high you heels are,

how tight you pretty shirt is,

how expensive the lipstick adorning your smile is.

the feeling of being beautiful is,

within your heart,

the heart that believes,

that you are truly beautiful.

simply being you.

espresso

2007-05-01T13:41:00.003+07:00

steaming hot espresso

seeping into my senses

warm fragrant of a near past

not distant

not far

and yet,

past already

the clinging of metal against tiny china cups

bringing together moments of laughter

and thoughts

and contemplation

and reminiscence

over cups of espresso

hot, steaming espresso

buka mata

2007-04-13T09:16:00.003+07:00

buka mata,

dan tetap kau tak ada di sana...

buka mata,

dan tangan yang terulur hanya impian semata.

sesaat mengenangmu,

di atas segala perjalanan yang telah terurai...

dan berharap,

semoga semua yang terlalui

bukanlah mimpi buruk untukmu

buka mata,

dan berharap masih ada sisa-sisa rasa manis dalam kecutnya kenyataan.

buka mata,

dan berharap sejarah tak hilang.

tapi rupanya,

mungkin waktuku,

untuk buka mata.

bahwa bagimu....Mas,

aku benar-benar tinggal sejarah.

dan saatnya aku bangun dari mimpi...

dan buka mata.

kau,

takkan pernah jadi temanku lagi.

ah, buka mataku...

buka mata...

in love

2007-04-10T09:08:00.004+07:00

as I was sitting all by myself,

and think,

and reflect,

and looking at who is there,

and who is not there.

then come a slow, and yet sudden,

realization....

that somehow...I'm in love.

I'm in love with life,

and what it has to offer.

I'm in love with the challenge,

difficulties, emotions,

fatigue...

and also its happiness,

and joy, and hopes...

and I'm in love with you.

with a sudden, calm, cool awareness

seeping into my brain.

I sat there and confessed.

oh yes, I think I'm in love with you,

still.

a funny feeling it is

to sit there all by myself

and feel the feeling of being in love,
calm,
and smooth.

such a strange realization,

that such a calm feeling can be associated with love.
red, hot, burning passionate love.

or maybe, this love is not that kind of love.

well, who cares...

and there I was, sitting there.

and not feeling the fire burning from within,

engufling me in such a longing,

and jealousy,

and disturbing fires of passion.

and feel safe, and secure...

and warm and confident...

that no matter what happens in the future,

that day,

I was calm and peaceful within myself,

knowing that....

hm....I love you...

the cool, strange, kind, funny, stupid, cute, silly, sporty, fussy, Bunny Guy....

this is for you.

waiting...and waiting...

2007-04-04T17:18:00.003+07:00

waiting...and being impatient

to meet loved ones...

and to be freed from boredom and routine

oh...waiting...and waiting

for the day that the heart can leap in joy

waiting and waiting...

and waiting...

trashy soap operas

2007-04-04T16:24:00.003+07:00

soap soap operas....

indulging people in endless imagination

i have to congratulate the scriptwriters

oh, how i envy them all

being able to earn money to stuff tired brains with endless pictures flickering on the TV

brains like mine...

and yet...

does suffering really comes in such an abundance

falling on top of each other like thundering lightbolts

over the lives of such wrecked people

or simply,

good people are meant to suffer

and that there is no such thing as happiness on earth?

that peace and being good

and being rich

and being loved

and lucky

simply do not come along being

noble, honest people

or simply by being real people?

does life really look that bleak?

oh, my...

well, at least i hope life is not as bad

and GOD, wherever He or She is, is not as cruel as scriptwriters

playing on the lives of us,

the puppets on Earth.

let us love,

and live...

and be happy.

since our life,

is not [yet]

another trashy soap opera.

rain drops

2007-04-04T16:18:00.003+07:00

each falling raindrop

calling out your name
ringing out the song of an adventurer's heart

travelling far and wide

looking for clues on where to stop

and yet

the answer is yet to come

questions asked

and were left unanswered

on whether life will treat us kind

and hold endless pretty promises

or whether time

will tear us apart

and heal the wounds, anyway...

and yet,

this moment i know

that life is there to appreciate

to treasure

to explore

and that no matter what

i'll be thankful

that my life is so blessed

by you

wherever you are

the moment of truth

2007-03-29T14:07:00.003+07:00

the moment of truth

is the moment when you found the answers deep in your heart...

or at least,

the moment when you THOUGHT you have found the answers deep in your heart.

the moment of truth,

on whether a step in life became a point of regret,

or simply,

as you care to acknowledge it,

an experience.

and my moment of truth,

is yet to come.

and as much as i want to believe

that everything happens for a reason

and that there should be no regret

for the choices and steps taken
...

and yet,

after friendship seemed to fail us...

after all is said and done...

maybe it WAS a mistake,

wasn't it?

maybe you have been right all along,

when you regretted that we had met...

oh geez...

still i try to have no regret,

and take you as a part of my learning.

knowing you,

and others...

and definitely,

knowing ME,

much...much...much...better.

senandung siang...

2007-03-23T14:05:00.003+07:00

mengeluh? tentu saja tidak...
capek...ah ya,tentu saja...

mata pedas memandangi monitor yang tak berkedip mencoba membanjiri otakku dengan informasi
dan pekerjaan....dan pekerjaan.....

dan nyeri nyaris tak tertahan...
tapi, tak apa...
tentu saja.

sambil berharap,
pekerjaan ini benar-benar berguna...

Banda Aceh, 22-23 Maret 2007

stuck in the mud

2007-03-13T11:23:00.002+07:00

stuck in the mud
and couldn't get away

stuck in the mud
and each step grew heavier and heavier and heavier

stuck in the mud
and the stubborn mud clinging to the soles of the shoes

stuck in the mud
there we were under the glarring sun

and yet the unavoidable question lingered:
"would you bear it with me?"

simple, stupid moments like getting stuck in the mud
with choices as many as leaving you under the sun...
getting the first ride home...
or staying there knowing that i'm almost quite useless....

but then again..
shouldn't i learn to trust you more?
knowing that things would be okay, eventually...

and that if i don't trust you enough to know that you could deal with us being stuck in the mud
and walk away...
how could i ever trust you with my life...
and me with yours?

at the end of the day,
"thank you for sticking with me, though you could have walked away..."

you know,
"it's not that it didn't cross my mind...but if just because of being stuck in mud made me walk away, then WE should not deserve another chance..."

and that as simple as being stuck in the mud,
could be the gravest sign to say,
and might be the simplest, worst, or best, choice a partner could take.

Banda Aceh, 11 - 13 March 2007.

sunshine....sunshine...

2007-03-09T11:46:00.003+07:00

sunshine...sunshine...

pours down showering everything.
and everything goes hot...and hot...and hot...

sitting in a working room in a tropical country called Indonesia...

with a big standing fan turning and turning and turning behind my back..

and yet...it's SO hot..

beautiful sky, though...

beautiful day...

and since it's a beautiful life...

no reason to complain...

but still....
phew, it's hot.

rainy morning..

2007-03-08T09:31:00.004+07:00

Cloudy morning, and yet still a ray of hope that it does not rain…

And yet it rains…and leaves the earth damp..

Damp and moist and tracks of mud clinging on your shoes…

And yet…damp with life.

As water pours down from the sky in countless drops of tiny tears.,

Is the world crying?

Is the sky grieving for the loss and pain we experience?

Or is the universe shedding tears out of sympathy for us?

Did the tears of the universe fall out of sadness, or maybe out of joy?

The joy of sharing its beauty with foolish, unfortunate creatures called humankind?

The sinister smile cause we never seem to learn enough?

Or simply pure joy for giving us the life beautiful life that maybe few of us deserve?

And yet…the rain seems so beautiful on its own,

Since life it brings.. pours down on painful, happy, cheerful, sad, deserted, full with life hearts of men and women…

And yes, today seems like a beautiful, glorious day…

Seems like the rain brings good luck

HOPEFULLY...

fear for your life...

2007-03-07T20:06:00.003+07:00

fear for your life...
if you really want to live...
fear for your life...
if you love this dear precious life...

but which fear is more imminent than the fear of the lives of your loved ones?
out of helplessness
despair...and fear...

fear not for your life...
but, can we?

2006-07-14T19:44:00.002+07:00

today i am 27 years and 1 day old..
and beyond any imagination, i celebrated my birthday somewhere next to the western tip of Indonesia...quite amazing...

what a mystery life is...
especially when you look back and see how much you've done, the opportunities you've missed..the distance you've travelled, and the thought that even in your wildest dream you wouldn't have imagined doing even half of everything you've done.

so i guess i'll enjoy my stay..and make the best of it...

what a mystery life is...
and since you cannot really look back and undo...
or far ahead and see things coming...
then let today be the best moment ever...and tomorrow even better ones...

Banda Aceh, July 14, 2006

2006-05-30T15:39:00.001+07:00

the eartquake in yogya...
came as a real surprise...
day by day i come to realize how really lucky i have been

the rain keeps coming every afternoon, and so many people don't have any roof above their heads...
if there's anyone who wants to help...please do.